And there's more good news...

Glen received a call today from Dr. Yom. She said that there was no reason for him to come in tomorrow because the Tumor Board (the head radiologist had returned) agreed that there was no reason for surgery at this time!!!!!! Glen requested that he have a PET scan 12 weeks after treatment (late November) so he can be sure that he has that clean bill of health that he's been working so hard to achieve.

So...while Glen is not going in to see Dr. Yom tomorrow to hear about the tumor board recommendation, he is going in to see her to discuss the throat pain he is experiencing. He has a constant sore throat. (He says this word "sore" does not adequately describe the pain.) The only thing I can compare it to is a really bad case of strep throat that won't go away. So he's going in to see her tomorrow to discuss his pain management options. He's thinking that as the mucous dissipates, the throat is more exposed and it just will take time for it to heal, but in the meantime he's trying to get back to work and his life and the pain is very wearing on him. "It's just the next phase of the recovery" according to Glen...oh my, he's becoming so patient!

So...this too shall pass, but in the meantime, let's celebrate the big victories!

Thanks to all!
j

October 23, 2008

I will start at the end, then fill in important details below. In Sue Yom's opinion I AM CANCER FREE.

Ever since the end of my treatments (September 2, 2008), October 23, 2008 has been a day I have focused upon. 51 days post treatment and today we received our first difinitive information on the effectiveness of the long hard ordeal called treatment. I appologize for the possible disjointed nature of this email, but I am exhausted both physically and mentally.

When we met with Sue Yom this afternoon the first thing she told us was that the Tumor Board was unable to meet due to the unavailability of the head of radiation oncology. So any prognosis delivered today was Sue's personally. However, she is the most knowledgable of my case and she was the one that has physically treated me. So, she has the most knowledge and will be the one presenting my case to the Tumor Board. Her bias is one of patience versus aggressiveness.

I have also learned in the cancer world that they speak in double negative language versus affimative statements. For instance, they would not state at this stage of my treatment that I am cancer free. They would say something like there is no evidence of cancer in my throat. As an accountant I very clearly get the distinction. It is one that is used in my profession.

And the lst preamble - I will biforcate the two areas that I was diagnosed with cancer; my tongue and the three lymph nodes in my right neck.

So, what was the news we received today. There is no evidence of any cancer in my throat. It is still abnormal due to the swelling that still exists on the right side, BUT NO EVIDENCE OF CANCER. The three lymph nodes have reduced in size to the largest being less than 1 cm.

We spent an hour and a half with Dr. Yom and we love her for that. We were able to get a ton of questions answered, the last of which was did she think I was cancer free and if so when could she tell me diffinitively. Her first answer was she could tell me in 5 years. I said I wasn't looking for "cured" at this point just her opinion as to whether the treatment was effective in eliminating the cancer from my body. She said that she could tell me that at the 6 month stage with relative certainty (March 2, 2009). BUT, IN HER PROFESSIONAL OPINION I AM CANCER FREE. Now there are various caveats, but Sue has always been very honest with us and Joyce and I have learned to trust her. After all, I have put my life in her hands and quite literally they have saved my life. For this I will be forever greatful.

The Tumor Board will meet next Wednesday and we will meet with Sue again next Thursday. It is possible that the Board, as a group, may decide that I should have surgery on both my left and right neck to remove the lymph nodes. Sue does not support this, but they make decisions as a group.

I am overjoyed by the news today and want to thank each and every one of you for your support (in whatever fashion) over the course of the last 5 months (to the day - I was diagnosed May 23, 2008). I am certain that I could not have survived this ordeal without your support. I love you all.

waiting...

We've had comments from people that they don't like checking in and not finding anything new. It's just that there really isn't anything new to tell you! Glen has spent the month of October slowly regaining his strength and "re-entering" the world. He is eating a wider variety of foods, though his throat revolts most of the time. He is spending more time doing things - he's cooked a little, runs some errands, went to the golf course yesterday for about an hour, celebrated with the firm at a "two-fer" baby shower and generally is rejoining us all...slowly.

As you know, tomorrow morning he goes in for his mri and then on Thursday afternoon we get to meet with the incredible Dr. Yom. Glen actually went and saw her last week because he had to have bloodwork done and he wanted to ask about his sore throat. She basically told him to live with the throat pain...it will eventually go away and endure the mucous...it continues to be annoying. Dr. Yom was very pleased with his progress...she scoped him and did the physical manipulation of the lymph node in his neck. That news has made this last week a bit easier to get through.

Now as you know, I've gotten in the habit of filling you in on the kids. Blair found her homecoming dress today so she go to the dance next weekend! She's doing great in school. We are very proud of her attitude and successes. Her job coaching volleyball at the middle school has just ended. It was a great opportunity for her. We hear from Niels - mostly by text - but he seems to be enjoying school. He says that homework is not too bad, he really is enjoying his art history class and he's playing a lot of sports with his friends. He even asked me not to send junk food because they were all trying to live a fairly healthy lifestyle! What have they done with my son???!!! We, of course, can't wait to see him at Thanksgiving.

That's about it. I will tell you that right before I started this post I reminded Glen that everything was going to be great on Thursday. He said, "I hope so" and reminded me that it's okay for him/us to be nervous and sad...we can handle it...it's part of life. So until Thursday...keep those healthy thoughts headed Glen's way...and check the blog late Thursday or early Friday.

Best to all,
j

A Little Update Before the Scan

I thought I would take a minute to provide a brief update. As you all know I have an MRI on Monday (20th) followed by a meeting with my doctors on the 23rd. The UCSF Tumor Board meets on Wednesday mornings, thus the reason for the 3 day wait between the scan and the meet. I know it will be hard wait, but I do think I have acquired some patience through this process. Frankly, I find that my mind does not stray to far from the 20th/23rd. Thanks you for all your wonderful thoughts toward the scan. We will do our best to post the evening of the 23rd to let everyone know what we believe will be great news.

My life has started to return to me. I hestitate to use the world normal, as normal for me pre and post May 23, 2008 will likely share very little resenmblance to each other. Sure, I will do many of the same things, but this illness has had a profound effect on me and I sense that the way I view the world has changed in a fundamental way. I view this as a tremendous gift. I hope I am courageous enough to utilize this gift.

I am now spending a little time back at TY. It has been wonderful to be around the TY team again. I have been focusing on cleaning up various stuff that accumulated in my absence. I hope to return to client based work as my health allows.

We'll chat again soon,

Glen

News?

I am blown away by how many people are checking Glen's blog. (Or could it be that a few of you are just hitting it to mess with me??!!) What an incredible testament to Glen that so many friends, family members, colleagues and associates are keeping up with him. Would it be redundant for me to reiterate...we are blessed?!

I wish I had some really exciting news, but we are just sort of in the "take it day-by-day" holding pattern. Glen continues to make progress toward "perfect health." One exciting thing (and this will tell you about the level of excitement in our lives right now!) is that the irritating hang nails he has had for months seem to be clearing up! The doctor has told him that he just has to deal with them until his body begins to heal itself. So we take the fact that they are healing on their own to be a good sign that the rest of his body (the inside) is healing as well. WoooHooo!

I don't think that I have mentioned some of the wonderful remedies people have shared with us during these months. A good friend of Glen's brought by a large jar of pure coconut oil. It had been recommended by a friend of his as the only thing that saved his skin during radiation. All I know is that every time I open that jar I want a pina colada on a beach! The dear Vietnamese custodian at my school brought me a newspaper article from his community recommending that Glen drink pure aloe vera. Obviously, Vietnameses is not my first language, so Hien read the whole article to me and told me that he would find the stuff if Glen would drink it. Glen has been using aloe vera, but externally. Recently I saw that Trader Joe's carries 2 different styles of aloe vera to drink. I guess Hien had a viable remedy! Glen has also received tools for pain relief (use your imagination or perhaps think back to college) tons of reading material to help him spiritually and emotionally. Some of it just good plain fun reading, others were more serious in nature. Videos, magnets with "isms" to cheer him up, plants, flowers, meals, meals, meals, a homemade blanket, diet supplements...the list goes on and on...At the beginning of this I kept a list of all the wonderful things people had done and brought so that we could write thank you notes. I must admit that not only did I not keep up on that list, I lost it. So...please know that we are ETERNALLY grateful for your support throughout this entire 6 month blip in our lives.

Another group I feel that I have not thanked is the wonderful people I work with at Cambridge. My friends/colleagues have been incredibly supportive and understanding of my personal situation these last few months. At one point I walked into a meeting thinking that I had my act together and I burst into tears. Everyone in the room just wanted to know what they could do to help both at home and at work. No "sorries" for some of the stuff I let slip through the cracks. They all just figured out what needed to be done and kept everything moving forward. I must especially thank my friend/principal, Marie. She has been so forgiving and supportive. She has made it easy for me to do what I have to do to take care of Glen and the family. I know that it has made her job even more challenging to "cover" for me from time to time. She is truly a wonderful amiga. I cannot think of any school I'd rather work at than Cambridge. We have the best kids, families and staff. A HUGE Coyote Howl to you all! Thanks from the bottom of my heart...

I should probably update you on Niels and Blair. Niels seems to be loving UO. He called Glen the other day to check in. It appears that he's attending class and spending lots of time playing soccer, basketball, and beach volleyball. We're trying to give him his space, but we do miss him around here. Less than 8 weeks till we see him at Thanksgiving! Blair is doing well with her volleyball team. They record is 1 and 1, but she points out that the loss was to an 8th grade "A" team (they are a 7/8 "B" team) and they took them to 3 games, so it is a moral victory! She also would like us all to know that she has the highest grade in geology! (I hope our geologist friends, the Quillins read this!) She has moved into Niels old room (it's bigger and brighter) and is getting ready to paint it...purple...help me please! Niels will have her old room when he returns. I guess we should probably repaint it too! The work never ends. Oh...you're asking about Fred? Yes, he is "wonderdog" and keeps us all laughing. The other night I sat on the couch next to Glen to cuddle and congratulate him on his shrinking hangnails. Fred was outside, but saw the "move" and came bounding in the door, leapt up on the couch and planted his butt firmly on my lap, facing away from us. He's such a mama's boy. Okay...enough about the children...

Okay...anything else you want to know? Don't hesitate to check in and ask. Enjoy the wonderful fall weekend. I'll see if I can get Glen to post soon.

XXOO
j

Goals

It's been an intersting couple weeks. Glen wrote a bit about his difficulty last week - one of the most difficult days of the entire experience- at least for me. It's so hard to watch someone struggle and know that no words or actions will help. Glen has demonstrated such strength of character throughout this whole ordeal. Even in his darkest moment he pulled himself through by reaching out to the experts who he knew could help him (his therapist and the ever-positive Dr. Yom). As he continues his physical and mental recovery he takes the bull by the horns and I'm reminded of a statement he made at the very beginning of this experience - he has cancer, cancer does not have him.

Part of his need to pull himself out quickly came from the knowledge that Niels was heading to college in less than a week (from last week's "attack"). Glen desperately wanted to be well enough to manage the trip to Eugene and celebrate in Niels' new life. A week ago I didn't think there was much of a chance that he could make the trip, but you know Glen...don't ever bet against him. He did everything he could both physically and mentally to prepare himself for success and by Sunday night he was determined to join us. He called his mom and let her know he wouldn't need her to come down and stay with him....he was going to Eugene. We spent Monday and Tuesday with last minute preparations. (Truly all preparations were last minute because Niels left all of the packing till Tuesday!).

Wednesday morning we said our good byes to Blair and headed north. She wrote Niels a long letter and sent him off with a picture of the two of them. It was hard to leave her behind, but she did take wonderful care of Fred and the cats for us. (She tells us that Fred went to Niels' bedroom door and kept knocking to get in and check on him.) Glen did a great job on the long drive (8 hours) and even did some of the driving. Actually the first time he had driven since mid July was on Tuesday!

Thursday was move in day for Niels. We went to Niels' favorite travel breakfast place, Denny's and Glen enjoyed some pancakes and eggs. We drove to UO and got in the long car line for a parking place. Luck was with us and we immediately found a spot. We joined the hordes of excited freshman and nervous parents carrying load after load upstairs. Luckily for us, Niels' dorm has an elevator! He's in the newest dorm at UO. The rooms are spacious with loft beds to create even more space. It took us no time to set him up and off we went to Costco for the last minute important items - tv and refrigerator packed with water bottles! By this time Glen had had it and we took him back to the hotel while we made one more trip back to UO to unload the new items. I went back to the hotel and suggested that we take a ride out the Mc Kenzie river to pass the afternoon. We had already spent too long boo hooing about Niels and needed to get out and enjoy the fresh air. The tears were full of gratitude for the years we had raising him. We are so proud of him and excited for his future, but as you all know...it's such a major rite of passage and we know that he'll never be "ours" the way he was when he lived here in our home.

Friday morning we picked up a dozen doughnuts and returned to the dorm to give him a final hug and kiss. His roommate, Warren from San Antonio, came out to meet us. We thought that it was really cool of him to come out so early in the morning. It was great to meet him before we left and we appreciate his show of friendship toward Niels. Apparently the roomies have finished decorating because we noted the "Obama" poster in the window! We hugged Niels and shed another bucket of tears and then jumped in the car headed south. It was a long and bittersweet trip.

Blair was home waiting for us and we were so glad to see her. Poor thing...she's worried that our new "project" will be her and she's not so sure she wants so much focus! Truly we are so blessed by two great kids. As I keep saying...this is everything we've worked for...did it have to get here so fast?

I guess in closing I have to thank Niels for providing Glen the impetus to speed up the recovery process. I don't know that that's exactly what happened, but he sure has been improving daily this past week. Eating continues to be problematic, but he's trying more and more foods and is having some success. He will go see Dr. Dubey (oncologist) on Tuesday for an update on his recovery. He's taking on more tasks and responsibilities including helping Blair out by driving her to her new job in the afternoons! She is coaching 7th and 8th grade intramural volleyball at the middle school! We're very excited for her as we know how much she loves the sport. She will be challenged by those pre-teens, but it's all good!

Continued thanks to you all for keeping up with Glen through the blog. We are continually amazed by the response. You are all very dear to us - even if we're not sure who exactly you are out there!

j

It Has Been Awhile

I can't believe how long it has been since my last posting.

First, thanks to the anchor of my life, my wonderful wife Joyce for her postings and communications with all of you during this absence. Without her, I simply could not have made it this far. I love her as deeply today as any moment during our 19+ years together.

I learned over the past month that getting through treatment was only the first step in the journey with cancer. The two weeks following treatment, during which the chemo and radiation were still working their way through me were actually physically more difficult than treatment itself. I think I have progressed past the most difficult period and now it is just a matter of being patient as I slowly but surely complete my recovery. Each cancer treatment program is different and each cancer patient's reaction is also different. So there are no hard and fast rules (yeah this is very difficult for me). Howevere, I have been told I can expect to feel approximately one-third to half my normal self by the 30 day mark (approximately October 1st). I will then hopefully continue to get better and feel somewhat normal by the end of the year. So please bear with me as I begin to resume my normal activities.

The mental aspect of recovery for me has been something that came at me completely unexpected. In summary it culminated in a severe anxiety attack in the middle of the night this past Wednesday night. I have a new respect for those individuals that suffer from such mental difficulties. I won't bore you with the dreadful details, but I was able to see my phsychologyst and begin a path of therapy that is allowing my mental recovery from cancer to track my physical recovery.

Joyce and I visited Dr. Yom last Thursday. Her examination revealed that I am ahead of progress. We are all hopeful that the MRI I have on October 20th will reveal all that we hope.

I want to thank all of you that have stayed in touch with me whether by texting, phoning, emailing Joyce or simply checking the blog. You all mean the world to me.

Joyce and I are taking Niels to University of Oregon on Wedneday to drop him off for college. So many emotions. I am sure we will have to stop several times on the way home to laugh and cry. Part of life's journey that I am so looking forward to rejoining.

Be well,

Glen