Goals

It's been an intersting couple weeks. Glen wrote a bit about his difficulty last week - one of the most difficult days of the entire experience- at least for me. It's so hard to watch someone struggle and know that no words or actions will help. Glen has demonstrated such strength of character throughout this whole ordeal. Even in his darkest moment he pulled himself through by reaching out to the experts who he knew could help him (his therapist and the ever-positive Dr. Yom). As he continues his physical and mental recovery he takes the bull by the horns and I'm reminded of a statement he made at the very beginning of this experience - he has cancer, cancer does not have him.

Part of his need to pull himself out quickly came from the knowledge that Niels was heading to college in less than a week (from last week's "attack"). Glen desperately wanted to be well enough to manage the trip to Eugene and celebrate in Niels' new life. A week ago I didn't think there was much of a chance that he could make the trip, but you know Glen...don't ever bet against him. He did everything he could both physically and mentally to prepare himself for success and by Sunday night he was determined to join us. He called his mom and let her know he wouldn't need her to come down and stay with him....he was going to Eugene. We spent Monday and Tuesday with last minute preparations. (Truly all preparations were last minute because Niels left all of the packing till Tuesday!).

Wednesday morning we said our good byes to Blair and headed north. She wrote Niels a long letter and sent him off with a picture of the two of them. It was hard to leave her behind, but she did take wonderful care of Fred and the cats for us. (She tells us that Fred went to Niels' bedroom door and kept knocking to get in and check on him.) Glen did a great job on the long drive (8 hours) and even did some of the driving. Actually the first time he had driven since mid July was on Tuesday!

Thursday was move in day for Niels. We went to Niels' favorite travel breakfast place, Denny's and Glen enjoyed some pancakes and eggs. We drove to UO and got in the long car line for a parking place. Luck was with us and we immediately found a spot. We joined the hordes of excited freshman and nervous parents carrying load after load upstairs. Luckily for us, Niels' dorm has an elevator! He's in the newest dorm at UO. The rooms are spacious with loft beds to create even more space. It took us no time to set him up and off we went to Costco for the last minute important items - tv and refrigerator packed with water bottles! By this time Glen had had it and we took him back to the hotel while we made one more trip back to UO to unload the new items. I went back to the hotel and suggested that we take a ride out the Mc Kenzie river to pass the afternoon. We had already spent too long boo hooing about Niels and needed to get out and enjoy the fresh air. The tears were full of gratitude for the years we had raising him. We are so proud of him and excited for his future, but as you all know...it's such a major rite of passage and we know that he'll never be "ours" the way he was when he lived here in our home.

Friday morning we picked up a dozen doughnuts and returned to the dorm to give him a final hug and kiss. His roommate, Warren from San Antonio, came out to meet us. We thought that it was really cool of him to come out so early in the morning. It was great to meet him before we left and we appreciate his show of friendship toward Niels. Apparently the roomies have finished decorating because we noted the "Obama" poster in the window! We hugged Niels and shed another bucket of tears and then jumped in the car headed south. It was a long and bittersweet trip.

Blair was home waiting for us and we were so glad to see her. Poor thing...she's worried that our new "project" will be her and she's not so sure she wants so much focus! Truly we are so blessed by two great kids. As I keep saying...this is everything we've worked for...did it have to get here so fast?

I guess in closing I have to thank Niels for providing Glen the impetus to speed up the recovery process. I don't know that that's exactly what happened, but he sure has been improving daily this past week. Eating continues to be problematic, but he's trying more and more foods and is having some success. He will go see Dr. Dubey (oncologist) on Tuesday for an update on his recovery. He's taking on more tasks and responsibilities including helping Blair out by driving her to her new job in the afternoons! She is coaching 7th and 8th grade intramural volleyball at the middle school! We're very excited for her as we know how much she loves the sport. She will be challenged by those pre-teens, but it's all good!

Continued thanks to you all for keeping up with Glen through the blog. We are continually amazed by the response. You are all very dear to us - even if we're not sure who exactly you are out there!

j

It Has Been Awhile

I can't believe how long it has been since my last posting.

First, thanks to the anchor of my life, my wonderful wife Joyce for her postings and communications with all of you during this absence. Without her, I simply could not have made it this far. I love her as deeply today as any moment during our 19+ years together.

I learned over the past month that getting through treatment was only the first step in the journey with cancer. The two weeks following treatment, during which the chemo and radiation were still working their way through me were actually physically more difficult than treatment itself. I think I have progressed past the most difficult period and now it is just a matter of being patient as I slowly but surely complete my recovery. Each cancer treatment program is different and each cancer patient's reaction is also different. So there are no hard and fast rules (yeah this is very difficult for me). Howevere, I have been told I can expect to feel approximately one-third to half my normal self by the 30 day mark (approximately October 1st). I will then hopefully continue to get better and feel somewhat normal by the end of the year. So please bear with me as I begin to resume my normal activities.

The mental aspect of recovery for me has been something that came at me completely unexpected. In summary it culminated in a severe anxiety attack in the middle of the night this past Wednesday night. I have a new respect for those individuals that suffer from such mental difficulties. I won't bore you with the dreadful details, but I was able to see my phsychologyst and begin a path of therapy that is allowing my mental recovery from cancer to track my physical recovery.

Joyce and I visited Dr. Yom last Thursday. Her examination revealed that I am ahead of progress. We are all hopeful that the MRI I have on October 20th will reveal all that we hope.

I want to thank all of you that have stayed in touch with me whether by texting, phoning, emailing Joyce or simply checking the blog. You all mean the world to me.

Joyce and I are taking Niels to University of Oregon on Wedneday to drop him off for college. So many emotions. I am sure we will have to stop several times on the way home to laugh and cry. Part of life's journey that I am so looking forward to rejoining.

Be well,

Glen

hmmm...

I will post later with more news and information, but I see that people are still reading this even if there are no comments! I thought maybe I was writing it for myself!

Note the new "counter" in the top right corner!
Check in later!
j

two steps forward...

It's been another week or so and there is no major news to share. Glen finished his round of hydration at John Muir last week. Galen, Joyce and the Quillins were kind enough to provide transportation. This week Glen will continue to stay hydrated the old-fashion way...by drinking water and vitawater and gatorade-whatever works! He's feeling pretty good about keeping up with that.

Tuesday will be 2 weeks since his last chemo treatment. Overall there are improvements in his general condition, but his throat and that nasty mucous are still causing him major discomfort. (Sorry, I have to give a few gross details...skip to the next paragraph if you're faint of heart/stomach!) These are the last two conditions that seem to be holding up his recovery. Both of these conditions make it hard for Glen to eat. The mucous (caused by the radiation I think) upsets his stomach and the throat makes it painful to swallow. He is really making an effort to begin to re-introduce food though. Yesterday he had some wonton soup and tomato beef chowmein, plus something else for lunch (I forget what). But-and here's where the "one step back" comes in-today he has not been able to eat "real" food. So...he will continue to try and we will continue to find things that "sound" good to him and seem palatable.

Now - talking about "two steps forward"...we're very excited to share that yesterday Glen and I went to the movies! We saw the very entertaining Coen Brothers movie, "Burn After Reading." It was great to be out on a "date" and Glen did very well. Then today Glen and Niels went up to the club and hit a few balls around! I'm told that Glen hit about 10 balls and then reclined on the grass in the shade while Niels hit some more. That's very exciting news, especially for you golfer friends!

I also forgot to mention that he stopped by the office earlier in the week and checked in with his very hard-working colleagues at TY. They have been awesome through all of this and I know that Glen was very happy to see them. It was also very emotional for him as he really felt how much they care about him and want him to return to his "corner suite." Thanks to everyone at TY for your incredible support and extra-strength efforts to keep all the plates in the air these months. Also, the orchid is beautiful, but I'd better get it back to you so "someone" can make sure it stays in its current condition!

This week will be another step forward as I spend most of my day at work, Blair will be at school (she's doing very well!) and Niels will enjoy his last full week of work. While we are all otherwise occupied, Glen will be at home testing his independence skills. We will worry that Fred (the big red dog) will not be enough entertainment and company and that he will not be able to make sure Glen takes his meds correctly. (Fred is a very bright dog according to his mom, but he has not learned to tell the difference between two little white pills.) So, if any of you readers have a few minutes to text Glen or even to stop by to help with the transition, this would be a good week . You can call my cell if you want to "schedule" a visit or give Glen a text/call to check in with him. Don't be shy!

Keep picturing those two steps forward for us!
j

Update

It's been about a week since I updated. No huge news to provide. Glen has continued to receive IV hydration. This week we were able to make arrangements for him to get that at John Muir which is right around the corner from our house - so very convenient. He has also done a great job drinking his Ensures so his weight seems to have stabalized. For the first time in awhile he made himself a small slice of french toast for breakfast. That is a good sign! His facial skin is recovering nicely from the duress of all the radiation and chemo. He has been very proactive about not letting things get out of hand there.

What else? Glen wanted me to mention that he is coming up on 2 weeks out of radiation and he has "celebrated" one week out of chemo. This means that the effects of those two treatments are working their way out of his system. We have been told repeatedly that this can take a few weeks. And that is the hard part. Glen desperately wants to feel better and start to get his life back, but he is being forced to be patient. He did say that he can feel some improvement in the condition of his mouth, but that his throat is still problematic. He has never succumbed to heavy pain killers (he is taking one, but at a minimum dosage), so he is really trying to remain strong through this and not put himself in too bad of a "drug" state.

So, how's Glen "doing" you ask? That's a hard one to answer. There are times when he feels hopeful and able to face the task of recuperation and there are times when he doesn't feel up to the task. He is struggling to stay strong mentally and emotionally.

Many people are wondering when Glen will be up and about and back to his old self...you know the Glen I'm talking about...I don't think there's any concrete answer to that. We are still on the day to day plan. He has been told that it will take 2 weeks to begin to feel better. (One week to go for that plan and we like the sound of that, but he is afraid to get his hopes up.) Other doctors have said that it will be a month before he feels better. He has been told that it will be 6 months before he feels like his old self, up to 2 years for the return of his tastebuds, and a year or 2 until his salivary glands recuperate-though they will never recover to their previous glamour!

We continue to be blessed by the incredible support of medical staff, family, friends, acquaintances, and strangers. Galen was here the last couple days providing some diversion from the day to day drill. Glen's mom, Joyce is coming back today so that I can head to a conference in Sacto. Friends are stopping by, sending texts and cards, dropping off gifts of all sorts (thanks for the "poster" and the bag of goodies Diane and Jim!) and even dropping of the "extra" lasagna from time to time. I am so often overcome by the kindness and generosity of our wide circle of support.

Now, did I mention that I am home writing this long post because of another family member? Niels is home today after having his wisdom teeth pulled this morning. When I walked into the recovery room I flashed on him there when he had some teeth pulled at the age of 6 (I think). All of the years in between flew by in my memory and I became a bit emotional. After a moment, with a twinkle in his eyes Niels cracked them open, looked at me and said, "Mom, are you okay or do I look that bad?" I sat there and tried to wipe my tears, but couldn't quite stop. He looked back at me again and said, "Okay, now you're freakin' me out. Am I ever going to get a girlfriend again?" Gotta love those kids for keeping it real. He leaves for UO in two weeks. He asked if I was going to be alright and reminded me that we would see him just 2 months after he leaves. I didn't say it, but did he mean "JUST"? I know that it will be an eternity and yet just a moment - you know what I mean. We are so happy for him and so looking forward to hearing about his new life...

Okay, enough already. Thanks for reading. (Are you still here?!) We look forward to continuing to hear from you all - those from recent memory and those from our "past" who have reconnected via the blog. That has been such an unexpected positive outcome...hearing from "old" friends.

"Talk" soon,
j

OMG!!!!!

HE DID IT!!!!!!!

It was a long day starting with a one and one/half hour commute to UCSF. (Darn, all those school kids are back in school and their parents are apparently back to work!) Glen arrived at 9:30 for his pre-chemo lab work then we wemt down to see Dr. Yom. She likes him to check in with her to make sure that his weight is okay...imagine us begging Glen Thomas to eat! That's something new! She was not thrilled (you won't believe how skinny he is), but has ordered that he get hydration 3 times a week and that he eat more. He has agreed to drink those yummy Ensures just to make sure he is getting the calories and nutrition he needs to keep his weight up. The problem for him has been a complete lack of an appetite (Glen?!) and mild nausea that just makes food sound icky. Dr. Yom gave us some new ideas to help with the appetite so we are really focused on keeping that feeding tube at bay.

After our time with Dr. Yom we headed to the fifth floor for his bout of infusions - benadryl, saline hydration and his LAST Cetuximab/Urbitux!!!! Glen is DONE with treatment! He is now (this is his quote) working on feeling better every day. It's a bit of a struggle for him to be patient because he wants to feel better NOW and we have been warned that the next 2 weeks will be really rough, so for now he will have to be satisfied with no more treatments and a couple trips a week to UCSF for hydration(or we might make arrangements for him to get that closer to home). Knowing that this too shall pass is what keeps Glen's feet taking the next step forward.

Okay, infusion was not our last stop. We headed back down to the 4th floor to meet with Dr. Dubey. She also wanted to check Glen's progress and we actually discussed his post treatment plan (mri in 8 weeks, bloodwork, hearing test, etc.). Due to some confusion with his appointment schedule, we had to wait awhile and Glen was really ready to get home, but he's a trooper and he even cracked some jokes with Dr. Dubey. Will he ever learn?

We are now home (after crawling back along the freeway with all those returning parents) and Glen's mom (also a Joyce as I mentioned before) is here. Dr. Yom was quite happy to know that "the mom" was coming because "things usually improve with Mom is around!" We are going to tag team him and make sure that he's eating enough calories...look out now! Thanks to Glen's dad Bill and their beloved dog Frosty, for letting Joyce come and help Glen (and the rest of us) through this last segment of his "Path to Outstanding Health!"

Huge hugs to you all for your incredible outpouring of support and love...we never would be here without you all!
xxoo
j